Manōmasa Limited Edition Chimichurri Steak

Quite a lot of ‘meaty’ or ‘chickeny’ flavoured crisps are in fact suitable for vegetarian snackers. Even, perhaps some of the fake bacon shaped snacks. Is this to save money, or is it easier to create a flavour without adding dried meat or extract of meat or whatever sort of meatiness the food scientists are tinkering with these days? 

Whichever, the family vegetarian told me once that even though a crispy snack might be entirely vegetarian (though likely not vegan), if it has a meaty name that’s enough to put her off. In any case, that doesn’t apply here, because much to my surprise, this Chimichurri Steak flavour corn chip is actually made with meat.

I think it’s a long time since I tried a meat flavoured crisp that is actually made of meat. And that’s probably a good thing because I’m not sure I like these. They are…. aggressively meaty. And for me that’s not a good thing. 

And I am not at all sure I can taste the black beans. Maybe they are in the recipe to give a weird dark brown colour to the chips. 

Not really sure what I think. See what you think.

Terry Pratchett’s Cheese ‘n’ Smoky Dragon Flavour Crisps

Thanks to epiclootshop 

No, of course this isn’t a genuine potato crisp flavour. How could it be? For a start we have no idea what dragon tastes of, although perhaps the food boffins might choose chicken or turkey flavour as a starting point? 

I was thinking that a dragon flavour crisp might be a bit like a raccoon crisp. Because that sounds completely fake. Except people really do eat raccoon. Not perhaps in Britain, because here a raccoon would be either a very unusual pet, or part of a collection in a zoo, but certainly in the United States. Apparently. None of my friends live in a state where raccoon is a regular menu item (New York, California, Texas, Colorado, Rhode Island). At least I don’t think so. But in states like Georgia it might be, or so the internet tells me. And obviously the internet is the fount of all wisdom and we believe everything it tells us.

Meanwhile, back with the Cheese ‘n’ Smoky Dragon flavour: I really don’t know why I should be surprised that there are online discussions as to what dragon meat (and thus dragon crisps) might taste like. Yes, there really are people who waste their time posting about this all important issue. Other discussions are available. And yes, there are also people who waste their time writing about fictional flavours of crispy snack (me).

Anyway, if you are at all interested, I came across Cheese ‘n’ Smoky Dragon crisps in a book of Terry Pratchett’s early writing: A Stroke of the Pen. The crisps feature in a story called The Quest for the Keys. The book was published in good time for Christmas 2023, so what a pity that serious Pratchett fans didn’t lobby a crisp manufacturer to create a tie in snack. Don’t you think it would have been fun?

It’s quite OK if you don’t read this unserious post. Come back next time.

Walkers Wotsits Crunchy Sweet & Spicy Flamin’ Hot

Hmmn…. If you ask me, calling this crispy corn based snack a Wotsit is somewhat disingenuous. Honestly, these are not corn puffs and they aren’t at all like the fabulous corn based puff that is a Wotsit. I feel a bit cheated.

Yes, I know, I shouldn’t take taste testing crispy snacks so seriously, but Wotsits are wonderful and this snack isn’t.

It reminds me a little of the Italian Fonzies the Chef and I tried once, or if you are a fan of Australian snacks, think Twisties. But tasting rather different and quite orange.

But not to worry, at least not too much, because they are crunchy. And they are covered in lots of tasty orange flavour dust. And they are quite spicy, but unless my taste buds have had a major personality transplant, I really don’t think they can be described as flamin’ hot. Except, wait, wait, it appears that flamin’ hot is not a description but rather a flavour. Which includes all manner of ultra processed ingredients such as acidity regulators, disodium 5’-ribonuceotide, hydrolysed vegetable protein and sulphite amonia caramel. Yes, I imagine your guess is as good as mine.

I can’t put my finger on what this crispy corn (maize) based snack actually tastes of. A bit sweet and sour. A bit of a kick. Sort of paprika.

However, do you genuinely want flamin’ hot? Let me introduce you to the impossibly volcanic Takis Fuego snack I found in Switzerland earlier this year. That’s what we in the taste testing trade call much too hot.

Co-op Irresistible Limited Edition Hand Cooked Chicken Shawarma

I really don’t know quite what to say about this limited edition crisp from our local Co-op here in North London. You will probably think the Chef and I are terribly boring, but we are both fairly sure we’ve never had a chicken shawarma. We almost never have a takeaway. I think the last one was a pizza in lockdown in Switzerland. So neither of us knows what taste to look out for in these crisps. Oh dear. That’s not a great help, is it!

I looked up a chicken shawarma recipe to see if it tallied at all with the ingredients on the packet. What do you think? Not really. I think the taste that I can’t quite get to grips with is lurking behind the unhelpful ‘chili chicken shawarma flavour seasoning’. I wish I knew what that concoction is made with.

Don’t run away with the idea that this crisp is nasty. It’s not. I have eaten quite a few, and the Chef has been absent mindedly snacking away with no complaints. 

The crisps themselves are not very large but with a nice crunch, and they are richly golden in colour. It’s just that I can’t work out what they taste of. Could it be the cumin? I can’t make my mind up. Whatever they taste of, it’s like no other potato crisp I ever tried before.

Walkers Squares Ready Salted

And here, plucked from a multi pack, is the unadulterated version of Walkers Squares. Well, it’s what we in the UK call ready salted. Because in the olden days, the first years of crisp manufacturing, you got a packet of fried potato slices and a little blue bag of salt which you untwisted and added the salt yourself. Only then was the huge technological leap of the ready salted crisp invented. Or indeed the ready salt & vinegared or ready cheese & onioned crisp, but of course we don’t call them that.

Anyway, with just salt as the flavour, you can taste just how different reconstituted potato products are from potato crisps. Nice texture, easy to eat. I rather like the flavour but would I want to eat them every day? I think not.

Here’s another square snack I think I must have liked better, from Marks & Spencer.

In other matters, recently someone was referred to this blog by Wikipedia. I wish I knew how that happened. Oh look at that… it’s here. Scroll down. I wasn’t expecting ever to be a reference on Wikipedia. 

Ella’s Kitchen Tomato & Basil Melty Sticks

We bought this small packet of organic crispy snacks as part of a birthday present for the Chef’s great nephew, who is one this week. He’s not our child, so I won’t share the photo of him enthusiastically grasping the packet, but I can see he knows what he’s got, and he’s looking forward to his mum opening the packet for him.

I am sure that these tomato and basil melty sticks got eaten, or at least crumbled enthusiastically on to the floor (I saw what happened to his poor birthday cake), but his mum tells me he really likes the cheese and apple flavour best.

Isoyama Corp 18+ Curry Chips

OK, I admit it. I haven’t tried these very hot crisps and even if I had the opportunity, I don’t think I would. No, make that I definitely would not. But they have been all over the news recently. So if you haven’t heard about them already here is an article from the BBC website.

Call me old fashioned, but I don’t see the point in food that you know might make you ill. Nobody wants to be rushed to hospital in a wheelchair do they? It’s a cautionary tale for crisp fans more adventurous than I am.

Think about it. Would you try?

Carr’s Melts Cheese

This delightful crispy snack looks like a cheese biscuit, as in a biscuit to put cheese on, and in fact the website shows a serving suggestion of the cracker (not my preferred word) loaded with what looks like hummus, ham, capers, slices of pickle and chilli, and a cherry tomato. I don’t think these crispy biscuits are sturdy enough for so much stuff. 

These biscuits are called Melts, and they almost do melt when you bite into them, and they scatter lots of crumbs everywhere so you do need to eat them with caution. But to make up for all that, they are just delicious. I don’t think they need any extras piled on top. The name suggests a cheese flavour, but although there is grated cheese on the top, the main flavour is a very gentle onion, tempered with cheese. Yum yum. It’s very possible to eat more than you expected at one sitting.

OK, put that packet down now!

Do be careful if you are planning on visiting South Korea and think this might be a tasty snack for the journey: there are poppy seeds in the recipe. And poppy seeds are illegal in South Korea. Which I didn’t know until I read this article. Definitely don’t take a slice of lemon and poppyseed tray bake.

Walkers Squares Cheese and Onion

Way back in 2014 I tried a packet of Walkers Squares Salt & Vinegar flavour. And it looks as though whoever got a taste, as well as me that is, quite enjoyed them. 

But it seems I have never thought of trying any other flavour of Walkers Squares. So, at last, slightly more than 10 years later, here we have the Cheese & Onion version. It’s interesting that Squares seem to be going strong, because in the last 10 years many crispy snacks, including lots reviewed on this blog, have disappeared from sight.

And what did we think? Well, Squares aren’t the same as potato crisps. They aren’t slices of potato, but made of reconstituted potato granules, and they taste quite different. So as a base for a flavour, Squares give quite a different result. And I don’t think that Cheese & Onion works. It’s fine to start off with, but as you snack through even a tiny 22g packet, the flavour works less and less well.

I asked Ski Instructor Taste Tester who ate a whole packet, because he was hungry, but he admitted he wasn’t that impressed. The Chef tried some too but he’s gone to sleep so I can’t ask what he thought.

Not bad but not tip top.

KP Original Salted Peanuts

A big display of large packets of KP Original Salted Peanuts beckoned to me in the supermarket today. Buy us! they cried. But I was very firm and only picked up a small 90g packet (peanuts are heavy - that’s less than it sounds). And when I got home I asked myself if I had ever written up this very simple snack? No ingredients but peanuts and salt and sunflower oil. Delicious. But the answer, until now, was no. And my second question is why on earth not? So anyway, here we go…

Ah, you say. Lucky old you, you can eat peanuts without suffering any ill effects. Don’t boast about it. 

Well, yes, I can eat peanuts and I am fairly sure that I have been eating them since I was about three, so that’s more than 60 years! My parents didn’t really let us eat sweets, but there were always salty snacks instead. However, as a child I was horrendously allergic to grass pollen, and cats, and goodness knows how many other things. Even 30 years later I heard that the lovely mother of one of my school friends still had nightmares about the day she very kindly took her daughter and me for a picnic in a beautiful field full of flowering grasses. She thought I was going to die. So I do understand about allergies. 

I still am allergic to grass pollen and cats but nothing like so badly as I used to be. Put it like this, if I reached the final of an egg and spoon race this summer, I wouldn’t have to pull out because I couldn’t see. But looking at today’s weather I would need an umbrella.

Anyway, these salted peanuts, made without maple syrup or honey, with no chocolate chunks or bits of honeycomb in the bag, not even any herbs or jerk seasoning, just salt, are simply delicious. And I can definitely eat a whole bag while sitting on the sofa watching the tennis.

Highly recommended if you can eat them. 

Mysteriously distributed by Tayto Snacks in County Meath. I can’t work out if this is an Irish snack or a UK snack. I’m going for UK.