Mega Monster Munch Flamin' Hot

I went to the Co-op shop at the local petrol station on my way to work because the weather forecast for lunchtime was horrible and I thought I'd better pick up a sandwich before it started to rain. And along with a not half bad cheese ploughmans I grabbed this tiny (22g) bag of Monster Munch.

It was only when I got to the office that I realised it says "multipack bag, not for resale". So what the Co-op was doing selling me this is anyone's guess. However, they did and here's what we thought.

Mighty bites of Flamin' Hot flavour baked corn snack. Bigger than they used to be. Ah ha? And, vitally important; aimed squarely at children.

Hmn... there are a lot of chemicals in the ingredients. MSG, Disodium 5'ribonucleotide, Citric Acid, Malic Acid, plus Fructose, Lactose and sugar. Not super healthy for a product aimed at the under 10s.

The contents of this bag smelled horrible. But tasted somewhat better than horrible. Although to be honest we were not mad keen. Quite hot and chilli-ish but also curry-ish. The texture is a bit dry. This tiny bag only had a few Mega Monsters in it (the photo shows the entire contents) and it was all morning before the last one was eaten.

Noble friend called them big curry paws and that's about right. One of the archivists tried taste testing and he wasn't mad for this crispy snack either.

Suitable for monsters and vegetarians. And there is a little monster disposing of his rubbish responsibly on the back of the packet. Which is probably the best thing about this snack.

Mega Monster Munch Roast Beef Flavour

Oh boy! Massive hunks of roast beef flavour baked corn snack. Yes, this 85g bag of crunchy corn snackiness is fairly mega. However, it is not made of roast beef. No: these monstrous snacks are suitable for monsters and vegetarians. I've got to say though, that if I were a vegetarian I would probably not be tempted by a crispy snack allegedly flavoured with roast beef.

However, to be honest they don't really taste of roast beef and no wonder considering the flavour is made up of wheat rusk, hydrolysed soya protein. lactose, "flavourings" (whatever that means) and flavour enhancers.

The flavour is sort of beef in a spicy sauce. Or possibly Oxo. The reluctant taste testers ate quite a lot of these but were baffled to learn they weren't eating curry flavour crispy snacks. Or as one of them put it, you know, that curry sauce you get abroad that isn't really very like curry at all.

Each individual monster foot-shaped snack has quite a lot of crunchy flavour dust which comes off on your fingers and transfers the taste to your fingers too. OK if you are a 10 year old boy but not so good for a grown-up food writer (that's me).

Quite tasty (I liked them better than the Pickled Onion version) but oh so completely not a real food. Yes, yes, I know they're made with maize and wheat flour and stuff but this is a majorly processed food.

Obviously this is another snack aimed at 10 year olds. Or possibly even younger children. I am quite horrified how many children in pushchairs seem to be eating crisps while they are wheeled along. I think if you are old enough for crisps you are old enough to walk. Not to mention when I was a child crispy snacks were a huge treat, for weekends or parties only.

I know. It seems like double standards to complain about children eating crisps as I eat so many. But actually I don't. I try hard never to finish a packet on my own and always share when I can. And anyway, I know that crispy snacks are bad for me and try to eat healthy food like salads when I sit down to dinner. What are the children in the pushchairs given for their dinners I wonder? Maybe they're not even eating dinner but grazing on junk food all day long.

This bag is quite large but in fact contains a relatively small number of Monster Munches simply because each individual Munch is so big. If I put one in my mouth that's it. I can't speak. No room for more than one. They are massive.

Monster Munch is of course owned by Walkers, and the Walkers design team is running true to form; the little man who disposes of his rubbish responsibly has been transformed into a roast beef monster. And the sell by date says monsters are here forever; this snack is best before... A little bit too cute perhaps. But as I said before, these are obviously aimed at 10 year old boys (and girls) and not grown up food writers.

Mega Monster Munch Pickled Onion

I really had no idea how many crispy snacks came in Pickled Onion flavour until now. And here we have another, although Mega Monster Munch also comes in Flamin' Hot and Roast Beef. Well, I daresay I will give them a try if I see them but in the meantime we have pickled onion.

Not sure about the flavour. It tastes completely fake. Pretty fake smell too but I can't quite work out exactly what they smell of. This baked corn snack is a bit like a giant cocktail ring in shape but I suppose it's meant to be the shape of a monster's foot. Maybe?

Good crunch. Not a bad texture although a little dry. And then there's quite a sharp vinegary after taste, really strong. It made me cough.

Once again I imagine these crispy snacks are aimed at 8 year olds. In which case the packaging is ideal.  I must say it is rather fun. I especially like the top left corner where the word NEW is crossed out and replaced with OLD! Bigger like they used to be. And that would be in 1977. So I guess that bit is aimed at feckless adults still eating Mega Monster Munch instead of fancy Sea Salt and Ground Black Pepper or what have you.

And I love the great monster image with its mouth full of Mega Monster Munch. Brilliant. It's a shame I don't like this crispy snack more than I do.

Mega Monster Munch are made by Walkers, and in the great Walkers tradition the image showing how you should throw away the packaging has been, er, monsterised to show a monster throwing his rubbish away. Only a tiny image but it's really fun if you notice that sort of thing.

Not my most favourite crispy snack ever but I'm glad I tried them. Great packaging though.