Walkers Baked Wotsits Giants

Really cheesy. Well, not exactly tasting of actual cheese, but definitely tasting of the fabulously fake ‘cheese flavour’ of so many crispy snacks. But don’t take this as a criticism. I love cheese flavour snacks and this is a very good one.

Yes, they are just like the original Cheesy Wotsits, just about three times the size. And they taste the same and are just as moreish (which someone from Ohio once told me is not a word used in the United States - can that really be the case?).

 Very moreish indeed. Very hard to avoid having another one. 

Except… and for me I’m afraid this is a very big except, they really do gum themselves to your teeth like cement. With a regular sized Wotsit you can rid yourself of the squished puffed corn sogginess gummed to your teeth with your tongue. The giant version required much poking and prodding with a searching finger. So that is a bit of an issue for me.

I should have photographed the glossy blue packet before it got all scrumpled up but never mind, you’ve all seen a crisp packet before.

Walkers Baked Hoops and Crosses Roast Beef

Can you beat your friends at the noughts and crosses game?! asks the blurb on the back of the packet. Well, I don't know: usually the trick is to get your mark in the central square but if you're a bad player this doesn't always work. But this is interesting; I thought maybe this crispy snack was called "Hoops and Crosses" because no-one says "noughts and crosses" any more. But apparently they do say noughts and crosses. So, er, why is the snack called Hoops and Crosses?

OK. Call me ultra picky but I had to ask.

Anyhow, I bought a multi pack of these because I've never seen a proper packet. I've only ever seen multi packs. And in Tesco the multi pack was on special. So I got one. A bit dubious because beef flavour crisps are never my favourite, but in the spirit of research I'll try anything once.

And you know what? These are pretty tasty. I liked these little circles and crosses of wholegrain cornmeal rather a lot. Nice crunch, nice size snack that you can just pop into your mouth, nice taste too. A little bit sweet, and a little bit marmite or oxo cube. Not tremendously roast beef - maybe more roast beef with loads of gravy. But seriously tasty.

And I like the way the multi pack gives you a little 18g bag so you don't eat too many at a time. Although I opened two little bags at once for the reluctant tasters at work and the 36g was gone in no time at all. Which is obviously a good sign from the tastiness point of view. But I guess that however many little bags you get inside your multi pack it relies for healthiness on you not opening them one after another and eating them all at once. Yes, really and truly healthy eating is up to us.

I think maybe I'll look for other Hoops and Crosses flavours in the future. But try not to eat them all by myself!

This being a Walkers crispy snack we have an interesting take on the little guy throwing his rubbish away responsibly. Yup. It's not a little guy at all, it's a cross and two hoops. Top marks for detail Mr Walker.

Mega Monster Munch Roast Beef Flavour

Oh boy! Massive hunks of roast beef flavour baked corn snack. Yes, this 85g bag of crunchy corn snackiness is fairly mega. However, it is not made of roast beef. No: these monstrous snacks are suitable for monsters and vegetarians. I've got to say though, that if I were a vegetarian I would probably not be tempted by a crispy snack allegedly flavoured with roast beef.

However, to be honest they don't really taste of roast beef and no wonder considering the flavour is made up of wheat rusk, hydrolysed soya protein. lactose, "flavourings" (whatever that means) and flavour enhancers.

The flavour is sort of beef in a spicy sauce. Or possibly Oxo. The reluctant taste testers ate quite a lot of these but were baffled to learn they weren't eating curry flavour crispy snacks. Or as one of them put it, you know, that curry sauce you get abroad that isn't really very like curry at all.

Each individual monster foot-shaped snack has quite a lot of crunchy flavour dust which comes off on your fingers and transfers the taste to your fingers too. OK if you are a 10 year old boy but not so good for a grown-up food writer (that's me).

Quite tasty (I liked them better than the Pickled Onion version) but oh so completely not a real food. Yes, yes, I know they're made with maize and wheat flour and stuff but this is a majorly processed food.

Obviously this is another snack aimed at 10 year olds. Or possibly even younger children. I am quite horrified how many children in pushchairs seem to be eating crisps while they are wheeled along. I think if you are old enough for crisps you are old enough to walk. Not to mention when I was a child crispy snacks were a huge treat, for weekends or parties only.

I know. It seems like double standards to complain about children eating crisps as I eat so many. But actually I don't. I try hard never to finish a packet on my own and always share when I can. And anyway, I know that crispy snacks are bad for me and try to eat healthy food like salads when I sit down to dinner. What are the children in the pushchairs given for their dinners I wonder? Maybe they're not even eating dinner but grazing on junk food all day long.

This bag is quite large but in fact contains a relatively small number of Monster Munches simply because each individual Munch is so big. If I put one in my mouth that's it. I can't speak. No room for more than one. They are massive.

Monster Munch is of course owned by Walkers, and the Walkers design team is running true to form; the little man who disposes of his rubbish responsibly has been transformed into a roast beef monster. And the sell by date says monsters are here forever; this snack is best before... A little bit too cute perhaps. But as I said before, these are obviously aimed at 10 year old boys (and girls) and not grown up food writers.

Walkers Baked Wotsits Really Cheesy

I've been eating so many exotic varieties of crisps recently I have ignored the old classics. And Cheesy Wotsits really are a classic which I always used to love.

But guess what? These cheesy flavour corn puffs aren't the same as they used to be. Yes, you've guessed; they're baked not fried these days.

Everyone knows that crisps and other crispy snack foods are not at all healthy and we shouldn't be eating too many of them. So changing from unhealthy frying to baking is surely just a marketing thing.  It makes your unhealthy crispy snack marginally less unhealthy; although still chock full of salt (and in many cases sugar too).

The only trouble is that baked snacks are never so tasty as fried. Well.... they are actually just fine if you never tried the old version. Sadly though they leave me lusting after the olden days when truly unhealthy crispy snacks tasted truly fabulous.

But ongoing ignoring the above, these aren't at all bad. Yes, and ignoring the fact that my newly upgraded Mac (which used to be Snow Leopard and is now Mavericks or something) randomly changes what I type for whatever it thinks fit; eg it changed ignoring to ongoing without asking me, they do taste pretty cheesy. The crunch is rather soft but the taste is good.

I must admit I miss the old excess flavour dust; there's nothing like so much flavour dust as there used to be, and your fingers don't turn orange any more. Perhaps the dust sticks better on each little baked Wotsit, or perhaps Walkers just use less dust these days? There wasn't even lots of dust left inside the bag or in the corners. Nothing left to lick off!

The flavour seems to be mostly created from milk: dried cheese, milk whey powder, buttermilk powder and milk proteins. So don't try these if you are allergic to milk. Also in the mix Disodium 5'-Ribonucleotide (sounds like a chemistry lesson) and Potassium Chloride which I could have sworn was mentioned in a murder mystery I was watching on TV this afternoon; yes, I read you can stop the heart with the correct amount of this chemical. Hmmn. They do put odd stuff into crisps sometimes don't they?

And here's the Walkers design team again playing with the little guy who throws his rubbish away responsibly. For some reason he has morphed into a mouse on the Wotsits packet. I guess it must be all the cheese.

The packet asked if I am a cruncher or a melter? Do I like to nibble each Wotsit? Or let it gently dissolve in my mouth? I think I'm a cruncher but unfortunately I finished the packet before reading the bag so failed to try out each eating technique. Stupid! I also should have weighed the bag before starting because weirdly it doesn't have a weight on. These convenient little portions have 99 calories or less (it says) but not how big the portion is.

Perfectly acceptable cheesy crispy corn puffs. But fings ain't wot they used to be. And my Mac hates the word fings.

Mega Monster Munch Pickled Onion

I really had no idea how many crispy snacks came in Pickled Onion flavour until now. And here we have another, although Mega Monster Munch also comes in Flamin' Hot and Roast Beef. Well, I daresay I will give them a try if I see them but in the meantime we have pickled onion.

Not sure about the flavour. It tastes completely fake. Pretty fake smell too but I can't quite work out exactly what they smell of. This baked corn snack is a bit like a giant cocktail ring in shape but I suppose it's meant to be the shape of a monster's foot. Maybe?

Good crunch. Not a bad texture although a little dry. And then there's quite a sharp vinegary after taste, really strong. It made me cough.

Once again I imagine these crispy snacks are aimed at 8 year olds. In which case the packaging is ideal.  I must say it is rather fun. I especially like the top left corner where the word NEW is crossed out and replaced with OLD! Bigger like they used to be. And that would be in 1977. So I guess that bit is aimed at feckless adults still eating Mega Monster Munch instead of fancy Sea Salt and Ground Black Pepper or what have you.

And I love the great monster image with its mouth full of Mega Monster Munch. Brilliant. It's a shame I don't like this crispy snack more than I do.

Mega Monster Munch are made by Walkers, and in the great Walkers tradition the image showing how you should throw away the packaging has been, er, monsterised to show a monster throwing his rubbish away. Only a tiny image but it's really fun if you notice that sort of thing.

Not my most favourite crispy snack ever but I'm glad I tried them. Great packaging though.