Tesco Finest Hand Cooked Norfolk Bronze Roast Turkey with Sage & Onion Stuffing

You know, I've been putting off trying these crisps because I don't like turkey. But I was quite wrong because these are great crisps.

This is a Tesco Christmas special crisp. And, in fact, as I try them today they are well past their sell-by date. But hey! It's a crisp. It's not going to kill me is it? (Certainly hope not.) It's a shame though that I didn't get around to recommending them before because I don't suppose they are still available. But if you are reading this, Mr Tesco; please make these again next Christmas because seriously, this is a great crisp.

You may have read my reviews of other Christmas specials from Tesco and some of them were distinctly... unusual. But this flavour? Oh yes. I approve.

These are truly yummy potato crisps. Really quite big. Great crunch, not too soft, not too hard. A little bit of dark flavour dust with a few little herby bits. And a great flavour. What more could you want? They smell good too. Yum. Oh yes, yum. Lipsmackingly yum. You know what? I could probably eat a whole packet.

This is another crisp flavour that suffers from five star restaurant menu-itis. There's a bit too much going on in the flavour description I think. But it is still a very good flavour. I don't know if it makes any difference that the turkey comes from free range Norfolk Bronze turkeys but.... maybe.

However, the sage and onion flavour is concocted from a thing described as "stuffing and onion gravy flavour seasoning" which seems a bit odd. Where does the gravy bit come from you ask? Well, on the back of the packet the crisps are described as "roast Norfolk turkey, stuffing and onion gravy flavour" which is a bit different from the front page. Why? I don't know.

Not suitable for vegetarians because there is real turkey in these crisps. Which is a good thing. The potato variety is Hermes and they were grown in Devon in a field named Roundwood.

I'm sorry to see there is celery included in the seasoning; I am intolerant to celery and in larger doses it makes me feel quite unwell. The only thing I can say is that as a flavouring in a crisp it doesn't affect me in the same way it would if it was included in a stew or a soup. But I see it regularly included as an allergen these days so there must be people out there seriously allergic to it. In which case, why is it so routinely added to so many things? Not good.

This is a Christmas crisp from 2013. I don't know why so few of you out there read about this crisp so I'm going to post it again. Just for fun. You can see I thought it was a pretty good crisp.

And I was just reading one of the many "present giving" articles which appear in newspapers and magazines at this time of year. In this case several famous people (although I had only heard of one of them) gave their ideas on what to give at Christmas. One (designer Molly Goddard) had such a sensible idea, and you will see why it appealed to me; if you have a hard-to-buy-for friend why not give them a little hamper? A nice bottle of wine, she suggests, some good cheese and a packet of interesting crisps. Why not? I see our local branch of Marks & Spencer has a pile of baskets on sale to make your own DIY hamper but you could just as well use a pretty paper bag.

M&S Summer of Flavour Lime Salsa Chickpea & Cumin Tortilla Scoops

"Scoop shaped tortillas, perfect for dipping" says the packet. Really? If this is a scoop shape perfect for dipping then I guess I've been getting the dipping-action (is that a word?) wrong all these years. And, er, maybe I don't know what scoop shaped means?

This isn't a good start is it?

This crispy crunchy snack is (oh no!) not made from potatoes (again!) but chickpea and maize flour. Well, OK, I can cope with that. And I'm guessing that the black bits are the cumin seeds. Which seem to come in lines so that each crisp comes with lines of black dashes (the seeds I suppose) and they look like one of those fabulous tie dye fabrics from West Africa. Interesting look for a crisp.

And then there's the wonderful flavour dust which covers each large oval crisp. Here we have an exotic and very tasty mix of fenugreek, coriander, turmeric, ginger, chilli, cumin, oregano, and lime. Along with onion and garlic of course, and the ubiquitous yeast extract. What do you get? An amazingly limey spicy crunchy crisp. And serious yum. It's a huge flavour.

Which is great except that these crisps are marketed as specially scooped so you can scoop up your tasty dip more easily. Well, there are two things here. One: they taste so good you don't really need a dip. And two: the scoop is all wrong. The scoop (if you can call it that, and doesn't that word look weird when you type it too often?) is totally in the wrong place for actual scooping. So completely not scoop shaped; more of a sort of curve.

And I've tried with my favourite M&S Sour Cream & Chive dip. It's wonderfully tasty because it's a terrific dip but the dip obscures the taste of the crisps and the crisps get in the way of the taste of the dip. Of course, it could be that another dip works better. But I'm not sure you want a dip  with such an amazing amount of flavour on your crisp.

Feel free to disagree with me.

Zweifel Secrets Garden Style & Dried Tomatoes

Well, here's an odd one from Swiss crisp giant Zweifel!

We have an ordinary crisp, pretty good crunch, looks like your average crisp - so far so good - but the taste is weird. At least I think it's a weird taste. I took some into work for the reluctant taste testers to try and most of them seemed to be considerably more enthusiastic than me.

I left half a packet in the kitchen at work and almost all were eaten quite quickly. And I say almost all because I work in the sort of office where everyone is too polite to take the last sandwich or cake, and in this case, crisp.

I'm not sure that basil works very well in a crisp, or not in this crisp. And the dried tomato flavour is distinctly odd. And then there are the actual dried tomatoes. Yes, the dried tomatoey bits are indeed genuine (crunchy) dried tomatoes. Which I find very strange. I think the taste is a bit sour or perhaps a bit too much like an elderly salad which should have been eaten several days ago. I'm not sure what "garden style" is supposed to taste like but I'm guessing that "elderly salad" wasn't what Zweifel was aiming for!

Tall taste tester at work described these crisps rather floridly as "scrapings from an open grave" but having said that he was one of the chief grazers who kept dropping by the kitchen to have another crisp or two. Or possibly three...

The packaging features wood panelling (well, OK, an image of wood panelling) so I suppose Secrets are supposed to be quite a rural style of crisp. I see from the website they also come in Red & Black Pepper flavour, Dijon Mustard, and Garden Style & Dried Beetroot and the wood panelling on the beetroot flavour is a handsome dark red.

Suitable for vegetarians, lactose free, gluten free, and the potato variety is Lady Claire.

Verdict? Let's say interesting.

Zweifel Snacketti Dancer Cream

Another superb crisp from Swiss snack and crisp giant Zweifel. Snacketti is one of Zweifel's brands. These extruded potato crispy snacks are a little like Quavers, and not so different to Pom Bears.  The shape is described as 'dancer' but in reality is more kung fu, or I suppose break dancer, than anything. Reading dancer I had expected ballet or perhaps ballroom dancing but no such thing.

The flavour is described as cream but as with so many cream or sour cream flavour crisps it's hard to detect. Also in the mix are sugar, onion and garlic powder, mustard, paprika and carrot powder. I keep reading all sorts of ingredients on crisp packets and often they seem to bear no relation to the finished flavour but what can I say?

What I can say is that the flavour is wonderful. I love it and I think this is a truly great crisp. Fabulous.

I tried these Snacketti dancers on the reluctant taste testers at work and they seemed quite popular.

Probably only available in Switzerland but possibly in Germany and Italy too. Suitable for vegetarians.

10/10