Tesco Sweet Maple Honey Roasted Nuts

And…. here we are again with another special snack flavour for Christmas, or as our American friends will insist on saying: the holidays. We have to shop at Tesco sometimes because our regular supermarket has strange gaps on its shelves. For example, it hasn’t stocked Cheese Footballs for years. So anyway, last time we were in Tesco, I picked up quite a lot of Cheese Footballs and Treeselets and several new, probably limited edition, crispy snacks, and this is the last.

Well, deep breath. I hardly know what to say. I love salted peanuts or cashew nuts, and honey roasted nuts and dry roasted nuts. But I really do feel Tesco’s development department have gone too far with this sweet maple honey roast. In fact they’ve only gone and jumped the shark.

What? I mean, seriously what? How come these nuts taste of bourbon biscuits? And if you don’t live in the U.K. you may not know the chocolatey sandwich that is a bourbon biscuit (named for the French royal family not the drink), so here’s a Wikipedia page. There are lots of recipes online to make at home if you can’t just run out to the shops for a packet.

The Chef, who you know will eat almost anything crispy snack related, and is a true devotee of anything nutty, thought these honey glazed nuts very strange. Even, gasp!,would you believe it, too strange to continue snacking. Cliffs of Moher Taste Tester was not at all impressed. Full disclosure: neither of them could detect the taste of bourbon biscuits but trust me, I definitely could.

I asked Cliffs of Moher to take the still almost full packet home with her for boyfriend / partner (I don’t know which she prefers), Aillwee Caves, a new recruit to taste testing. We’ll see what he has to say. Before we got married the Chef used to describe me as his partner. And I always felt it sounded as though we were running a business together, selling cushions and maybe fancy lampshades. Of course he was running around skiing and cooking dinner and I was just going to work every day. 

Anyway, Aillwee Caves Taste Tester reports that these seriously weird nuts remind him of an overly sweet breakfast cereal. I suggested Sugar Puffs, which I could totally see, but he says no, some stuff called Golden Nuggets. I don’t think I have ever come across Golden Nuggets (they taste yeee haa! apparently), but it’s obvious that Cliffs of Moher doesn’t like them any more than she liked the nuts. 

So that’s not really a success is it. What a pity. However, the actual nuts seemed just like nuts.

Tesco Tree-Shaped Sweet & Salty Pretzels

I rather like a pretzel now and then. I’d rather have a small pretzel than a large, and I thought it might be fun to try a tree-shaped pretzel for a change.

I hoped this would be a packet of half regular salty tasting pretzels and half pretzels encrusted with sugar. But you know how it is when you’re in a busy shop; you don’t always have the time to read the label properly. What I actually got is a bag full of golden and crunchy tree-shaped pretzels all of them covered in a sweet salty seasoning. What a disappointment. Because you don’t get the contrast.

Yes the pretzels are crunchy, and yes they’re golden, but there’s an awful lot of sweetness going on and not nearly enough saltiness. I expect my doctor would applaud that: less salt is better for my blood pressure (the second number apparently).

The Chef agrees. Pretzels are supposed to be salty he opined (sorry), and there isn’t nearly enough saltiness. Also, the impact of this tree-shaped crispy snack is only impactful if they are actually tree-shaped. And all too many are broken and thus shaped like broken things.

Isn’t it odd how things come along in clusters. The Reluctant Taste Testers haven’t tried anything from the Tesco crispy snack aisle for simply ages and here we have three of them, all at once, and maybe more to come. Like London buses.

Sorry Tesco. I think this is a wasted opportunity.

Tesco Finest Limited Edition Honey Sriracha Flavour Hand Cooked Crisps

Here’s a packet of crisps from the Tesco Finest range, provided by the Ski Instructor and the Farmer’s Daughter, together with a tub of sour cream and chive dip. Delicious.

But the dip was so good it quite got in the way of a serious appreciation of this Limited Edition crisp flavour. So I had to abandon it. Nice crisp, not too large but a rich colour, nice crunch and a good kick of heat to the sriracha flavour. Very nice, however, I doubt this will ever become a regular flavour. Pity. I think it’s a whole lot nicer than all those sweet chili crisps that are so common. I can’t say I approve much of any of them.

I think the Ski Instructor was amused that I didn’t recognise the flavour. But I have never tried honey sriracha flavour anything before. So how could I? And actually, how can I tell if this is a genuine sriracha flavour at all? You will have to find out for yourself.

Tesco Salted Caramel Party Mix

Hmm…. I thought this Party Mix from Tesco might be worth a try, and it kind of was, but, er, it is a bit of an odd mixture. Tasty, definitely tasty, but a lot of the bits are broken which is a shame. It’s hard to appreciate a small pretzel if it’s broken into 6 pieces. And the mix is a lot more sweet than it is savoury. I think I would prefer it the other way around.

According to the back of the packet we have maple flavour caramel peanuts with white chocolate with caramel buttons (complicated), milk chocolate buttons, salted caramel toffee popcorn, salted wheat pretzel knots and decorated milk chocolate coated cereal crisps. OK then. Are the shiny pink balls the “decorated milk chocolate coated cereal crisps” do you think? I’m not sure. It really is hard to tell.

All the elements are tasty, but everything is just a bit too sweet. More like what you might serve at a child’s birthday party, not so much to snack on with a glass of wine. Definitely wouldn’t go with a beer.

Yes it’s sweet. No it’s not very salty.

Tesco Mocha Peanut & Dark Chocolate Mix

This Tesco snack looked as though it might be rather a tasty packet of fancy peanuts and chocolate. It reminded the Chef and me of the fabulous KP Honey Roast Peanuts (sadly we think this is no longer available). But it’s nothing like so tasty.

For a start, I don’t much fancy chocolate coated peanuts. Nothing like so tasty as chocolate coated raisins or honeycomb. And then I really wasn’t taken with the chocolate cappuccino malt balls: I could manage without another ever again. And finally, there are far too many nasty little (sort of leftover) plain peanuts which if you ask me do not add to the experience.

Looks a glamorous tasty snack. Not sure it really is. Bit of a disappointment. On the other hand, the Chef absent mindedly ate almost the entire packet.

Tesco Crispy Coated Peanuts Pigs in Blankets Flavour

I wonder if you’re already thinking “hmmm... I bet she bought this packet of nuts because she couldn’t believe this flavour would work”? I wouldn’t be a bit surprised, because I kind of did.

And if you ask me; we were right.

Oh dear. The pigs in blankets (cocktail sausages with bacon wrapped around them) flavour isn’t really a flavour at all. It’s two different flavours smashed together and it’s hard to say if the Tesco crispy snack department have got the mixture right because the flavour just doesn’t work.

And hang on, was this meant to be a Christmas flavour? There’s nothing at all to stop you eating pigs in blankets at any time of year, but the market, and (whisper it) the American influence, has conned us into believing this is a dish/side (horrid expression)/flavour for Christmastime.

The bad thing is the peanuts don’t shine through because the alleged pigs in blankets flavour gets in the way. Even where the crispy coating has fallen off you can still taste it. So you can’t really appreciate the nuts.

What were they thinking? This Christmassy combo doesn’t work. And I don’t really like the way the crispy coating just comes off. The whole concept really doesn’t do it for me.

The Chef didn’t like these nuts either. Which is not a good sign because he simply loves peanuts.

Tesco Sausage Roll Flavour Puffs

Goodness me! What giant 250g packet of crispy snacks! Which is an enormous amount when you consider that each of these little maize puffs hardly weighs anything at all. I would hesitate to buy such a large packet of a snack I knew I liked so I did boggle a bit at the size, but who could really resist trying Sausage Roll flavour?

Of course you know you all know that little maize puffs like this are usually cheesy puffs; think the fabulous Cheese Tasters from M&S for example. Although there is the well-known Israeli peanut snack from Bamba. So this sudden departure into sausage roll as a flavour was a bit of a surprise.

And obviously had to be taste tested.

So I put this crispy snack to the Ski Instructor and Tractor Fan taste testers. Neither of them could hazard a guess at the flavour but they ate quite a lot of them. I never expect my taste testers to eat any snack if they don’t like the taste, and little maize puffs are not to everyone’s taste, so I count this as a handsome endorsement.

Subsequently I asked Cliffs of Moher Taste Tester to try. Amazingly she guessed the flavour correctly at once. She reckoned she could detect the taste of sausage roll pastry as well as the sausagey stuffing. And I think she's right.

The snack is rather dry, and it does gum itself to your teeth in a remarkable fashion, but it is a very clever flavour.  Who can say, though, if it will be a success? Tractor Fan was all set to rush off to Tesco in pursuit of another packet, but I wonder if most UK crispy snack consumers will be baffled at the thought of a cheesy puff that doesn't taste of cheese? Most people are very conservative and don't like  anything different. Change is hard.

Well, it'll be interesting to see if this crispy snack is around in a year's time. I hope so.

Tesco Bunny Bites

Here's a crispy snack aimed squarely at little children, possibly girls rather than boys.

Made of potato, maize and tapioca starch these cheerful little bunny shapes (face only) reminded us strongly of Pom Bears. And none the worse for that.

Tasting of nothing at all, but in a very yummy way. The reluctant taste testers liked these a lot.

And very many thanks to Noble Friend for donating them to the cause. She thought we might not have tried them, and she was right. But now we have.

Tesco Cheese Puffs

The reluctant taste testers and I have tried several versions of this popular cheesy snack now, and I was interested to see how Tesco managed it. 

We've tried Essential Waitrose Cheese Puffs which it seems I rather liked. But do beware. For some reason this product contains wheat flour so not suitable for anyone avoiding gluten or (of course) wheat. We've also tried the Marks & Spencer version Full on Flavour Cheese Tasters which are superb. 

And then, of course, there's the original Cheesy Wotsits. Only they aren't original any more. It really isn't the same when a snack you used to love changed from fried to baked. Sigh. Healthier perhaps, but nothing like so tasty as I remember. Sigh again. I'm not even going to think about Cheetos.

But we mustn't forget the fabulous Kims Ostepops brought back from Scandinavia by the late lamented History Graduate taste tester, No, he's not dead (phew!), just moved on to a different job with a well-known film production company.

So what did we think of these Cheese Puffs? Quite nice I thought. Good texture, good lot of flavour dust. Discerning Architectural taste tester told me she didn't like this style of snack because she doesn't like the orange flavour dust on her fingers; Slightly Red Haired Bristolian was astonished. That's the best bit, she said, the ones at the bottom of the packet have more flavour dust and are the best... and then there's the licking of the finger and poking it into the corner of the packet. Fancy not liking that! And what's more Tall Elegant taste tester agreed.

The flavour here is a little bit "dairy" I thought. A bit buttery. But OK none the worse for that really, and after a couple of puffs the flavour is pretty good. Quite tasty altogether. But there are many good contenders in this crispy snack section. If possible I think I would go for the M&S version or the Ostepops if I could. But don't think I'm turning up my nose at the Tesco version.

I brought some home and the Chef seems to have enjoyed them.

Tesco Soy Broad Beans

A slightly odd crispy snack here, or maybe more of a nutty snack. It's a Tesco take on a Spanish broad bean snack. Which is more like a bag of nuts than a packet of potato crisps. As Senior taste tester said grumpily, "This isn't a crisp".  He's right there.

I think Noble Friend brought in a Spanish version of this Spanish broad bean snack at some stage - which I didn't like. And now she has excitedly contributed the Tesco version. Which I didn't like much either.

But that's just me. Lots of people holiday in Spain, have holiday homes in Spain, visit friends and relations who live in Spain and probably they've all learned to love this typical Spanish snack. I've only been to Mallorca with a boyfriend I dumped immediately after (or did he dump me?) and I didn't really take to all things Spanish. I mean, I don't eat fish and the only typically Mallorcan thing I was shown was a sardine festival and a Catalan dictionary. What do you think?

Anyway, turns out that some of the reluctant taste testers were quite taken with this snack, especially Tech taste tester who I gather ate quite a lot of these tasty slices of broad bean.

Actually I'm not mad for broad beans anyway so possibly I'm not the best person to ask about this snack. I did quite like the taste but not the texture. Noble Friend was baffled when I said I thought it too hard.

And we all thought that Soy Broad Beans was NOT a good name. Would it tempt you? You don't have a friend who loves going to Spain and speaks Spanish and waves a little packet at you "look what I found at Tesco!" to encourage you to try... maybe you wouldn't make the attempt.

Judging from what the reluctant taste testers had to say I think this snack could be a success... with a better name.

Tesco Cheese Savouries

I bought this 250g packet of little cheesy biscuits because I thought they might be a simple crispy snack. And I was right. Not too cheesy, not so salty, quite tiny really (hence a little difficult to pick up) and almost dull.

Having said that, the dullness masks an incredible addictive quality in these little biscuitty snacks. You just can't stop eating them. Not sure why exactly but the reluctant taste testers and I often find the "duller" tasting snacks are the ones we like best in the long run.

So seven or more shapes; basically little biscuits not tasting of much? That's right. But very nice. Apparently dull is good.... I'd buy these again.

Tesco Sour Cream & Chive Snack Mix

The reluctant taste testers were talking the other day about how they often prefer a crispy snack that tastes bland rather than strong or complicated and this crispy snack from Mr Tesco covers the bland front well.

And although many of these moon- and star-shaped sort of woven (and 3D) snacks are broken, those that were still intact were rather wonderful.

As you know, I get a little tetchy if the crispy snack is supposed to be a particular shape but what you mostly get is broken pieces, and I wasn't that impressed here. I expect Mr Tesco to protect its products sufficiently so if you buy moons and stars, you get moons and stars and not little bits of something. However, it appears that Mr Tesco doesn't care what I think. This is a shame because I am sure it's not only me who expects to buy something other than broken bits. In the olden days you bought biscuits from a grocer, and broken biscuits were cheaper than whole ones. Apparently this does not pertain in the modern crispy snack world.

Quite a nice taste of nothing in particular which the reluctant taste testers, and indeed the Chef, found rather good.

Tesco Penguin Bites

Since when were penguins seasonal? By which I mean, since when were penguins the sort of creature that along with robins and reindeer feature on Christmas cards and wrapping paper?

Robins I understand of course. The Robin Redbreast is a constant feature of the British countryside, and indeed townside. Although that's not actually a word. And at this time of year with few leaves on the trees it's easy to spot all the robins that sing so loudly everywhere I go.

And reindeer. Well, who would question the festive reindeer? I have even seen festive reindeer in Sydney in the middle of an Australian heatwave. Poor things, they were even less happy than I was to be celebrating Christmas in such heat. Don't misunderstand me, I have lovely friends in Sydney but the heat and the sunshine felt all wrong to someone brought up on damp, raw, dark British Christmases. Fairy lights and tinsel don't work so well when the sun shines so brightly.

But penguins? Is it the snow do you suppose? Could it be the John Lewis ad from 2014 featuring Monty the Penguin? 

August 2014: Very sadly this link is now private. And I can’t get us access.

If you have never seen this utterly charming commercial do click on the link. Maybe it's something to do with the Penguins of Madagascar (who I love, but I find they're more fun in French). Who knows. But whatever it is here we have a festive Christmas penguin snack.

This is a crispy snack made from maize, potato and tapioca. And basically it's a sort of Pom Bear in disguise. A vaguely penguiny disguise. And it has a light fluffy foamy bite and a light slightly salty sort of a taste. And quite nice.

Merry Christmas! Perhaps there'll be a penguin under your Christmas tree this year. But don't forget, crisp fans, penguins are for life, not just for Christmas.

Tesco Potato Chips Ready Salted

Wow this is an old fashioned crispy snack! When I was very small we used to call them chipples. And somehow they seemed just the right size for a child's fingers. Now I am grown up they seem very small and actually quite hard to pick up.

Slightly Red Haired Bristolian was a big fan. I suspect several of the other taste testers were big fans too but they did not admit to it. However, since most of a large bowlful went missing during the course of the day I deduce that someone, indeed several someones, was eating this crispy snack. And I cannot let Slightly Red Haired Bristolian take all the blame or the credit.

Very small. Very simple. Rather crunchy. Called "Ready Salted" but I'd thought could qualify as slightly salted. Just not very exciting.

Tesco Finest Hand Cooked Norfolk Bronze Roast Turkey with Sage & Onion Stuffing

You know, I've been putting off trying these crisps because I don't like turkey. But I was quite wrong because these are great crisps.

This is a Tesco Christmas special crisp. And, in fact, as I try them today they are well past their sell-by date. But hey! It's a crisp. It's not going to kill me is it? (Certainly hope not.) It's a shame though that I didn't get around to recommending them before because I don't suppose they are still available. But if you are reading this, Mr Tesco; please make these again next Christmas because seriously, this is a great crisp.

You may have read my reviews of other Christmas specials from Tesco and some of them were distinctly... unusual. But this flavour? Oh yes. I approve.

These are truly yummy potato crisps. Really quite big. Great crunch, not too soft, not too hard. A little bit of dark flavour dust with a few little herby bits. And a great flavour. What more could you want? They smell good too. Yum. Oh yes, yum. Lipsmackingly yum. You know what? I could probably eat a whole packet.

This is another crisp flavour that suffers from five star restaurant menu-itis. There's a bit too much going on in the flavour description I think. But it is still a very good flavour. I don't know if it makes any difference that the turkey comes from free range Norfolk Bronze turkeys but.... maybe.

However, the sage and onion flavour is concocted from a thing described as "stuffing and onion gravy flavour seasoning" which seems a bit odd. Where does the gravy bit come from you ask? Well, on the back of the packet the crisps are described as "roast Norfolk turkey, stuffing and onion gravy flavour" which is a bit different from the front page. Why? I don't know.

Not suitable for vegetarians because there is real turkey in these crisps. Which is a good thing. The potato variety is Hermes and they were grown in Devon in a field named Roundwood.

I'm sorry to see there is celery included in the seasoning; I am intolerant to celery and in larger doses it makes me feel quite unwell. The only thing I can say is that as a flavouring in a crisp it doesn't affect me in the same way it would if it was included in a stew or a soup. But I see it regularly included as an allergen these days so there must be people out there seriously allergic to it. In which case, why is it so routinely added to so many things? Not good.

This is a Christmas crisp from 2013. I don't know why so few of you out there read about this crisp so I'm going to post it again. Just for fun. You can see I thought it was a pretty good crisp.

And I was just reading one of the many "present giving" articles which appear in newspapers and magazines at this time of year. In this case several famous people (although I had only heard of one of them) gave their ideas on what to give at Christmas. One (designer Molly Goddard) had such a sensible idea, and you will see why it appealed to me; if you have a hard-to-buy-for friend why not give them a little hamper? A nice bottle of wine, she suggests, some good cheese and a packet of interesting crisps. Why not? I see our local branch of Marks & Spencer has a pile of baskets on sale to make your own DIY hamper but you could just as well use a pretty paper bag.

Tesco Mini Snackers Turkey & Stuffing

A little packet of crispy crunchy biscuits from Tesco... actually make that quite a big packet. 150g. And I don't think they come in a smaller size.

Another Tesco snack where the packaging design mysteriously looks like a 1960s Christmas card, these little biscuitty snacks actually taste pretty good: not at all like a leftover from the 1960s.

Yes, these are rather nice little biscuits, albeit rather dry, with a good crunch and texture. And a very nice taste of turkey and stuffing. I'm not actually mad about turkey, although I do like stuffing, I'd far rather have a proper free range chicken than a turkey. However, it seems that turkey & stuffing makes a very nice flavour for a crispy snack.

At Christmastime all sorts of snacks appear featuring so-called seasonal flavours, and they're not always that successful. But somehow the turkey & stuffing flavour seems to work rather well.

All the reluctant taste testers approved of this little biscuit. And you get lots in the box.

Tesco Finest Mature Cheese Oat Nibbles

Obviously a posher snack than your average because there's more packaging involved. Always the way. And obviously you get fewer snacks.

Hand baked, melt-in-the-mouth oat nibbles from a small family-owned bakery in Aberdeenshire. They use an all butter recipe, locally milled Scottish oats and freshly mature cheddar cheese, then bake them in small batches at a low heat for a beautifully soft texture. Says the packet.

Mmmnn.... these little nibbles look surprisingly dull but taste surprisingly good. Certainly very cheesy. And with an oddly cool mouth feel - that must be something to do with the oats. I can't say that they melt in my mouth but I do find them rather tasty.

Nice.

The Chef, who is mixing our Christmas cake as I write, thinks the is a pretty OK crispy snack too. He says the cheesiness kind of creeps up on you. And suddenly these little biscuits turn out to be really very cheesy indeed.

If you feel these little oaty biscuits are a little dry (which I don't) it works very well indeed to add a little application of butter. Probably works nicely with a little extra cheese too.

Tesco Mini Snackers Pigs in Blankets

You know, the packaging on these two Mini Snackers packets, Turkey & Stuffing (see forthcoming post) and Pigs in Blankets reminds me of old fashioned American Christmas cards. My parents knew a lot of American Navy families from the old days when we were based in Dunoon (Scotland) and we always got a load of Christmas cards which were totally different from English cards. They featured pine branches, dark panelled rooms, tartan armchairs and sometimes old fashioned globes.

I don't really know why, but the packaging here really says American greetings card to me. Although I have to say that recently the cards I have received from the USA have been quite different. I guess we have all moved on since the 1960s.

Anyway, I though that the reluctant taste testers and I should try this just after the Pringles version of Pigs in Blankets. Which I rather liked.

Compare and contrast you know.

"Quite biscuity" said Noble Friend (she's learned the taste testing jargon hasn't she?), yes, quite biscuity and a bit dry. But nonetheless they proved quite popular with the taste testers. More popular with them than with me. I don't know. I wasn't massively fetched. Quite tasty, but nothing like as good a version of Pigs in Blankets as the Pringles version. Not nasty just not... terribly exciting.

You get quite a lot in the packet, so if you enjoy these, you're in luck.

Tesco Cheese Balls

This is the most ginormous packet of crispy snacks known to  mankind. Or at least the mankind that shops in the UK.

As an experiment I scanned the packet in two halves to see what I could do without benefit of fancy photoshopping or whatnot. Pity about the white strip between the scans but you do get a sensation of how large this packet is.

300g of little crispy cheese balls. As I had to put 6 of these on my kitchen scales to register any weight at all (1g or possibly 2g; the scales could not make its - their? - mind up) that will give you a fair idea of how many you get in one packet. Far too many for even the most enthusiastic taste testers to eat at one sitting.

Not a bad crunch (light as expected), not too much virulent orange flavour dust, and an OK taste. Not terrifically cheesy. We weren't mad for the little balls but a large bowlful did get eaten.

Extremely sceptical taste taster said she thought they tasted of sick. No they don't I protested. Yes, said the Tall taste tester, they do. But I notice that did not inhibit him from eating rather a lot of them. Weird.

Oh and Senior taste tester sniped at me again because this product (a concoction of puffed maize) is not a potato crisp. No it's not. It's a maize puff thingummy and we've tried stuff like this before. Plus it's my blog! And if my choices are a bit arbitrary, so be it.

Not at all sure what the bunny rabbit with the crown has to do with cheesy crispy snacks.

Tesco Finest Limited Edition Roast Turkey & Stuffing Crisps

Hmm... here's another roast turkey flavour crisp from Mr Tesco. I wrote about a roast turkey crisp from Tesco last year. It was created for Christmas 2013 but I didn't get around to trying it for a couple of months. I wonder if this is the same recipe?

I wonder especially because I gave the 2013 crisp a fairly rave review. And I'm about to damn this year's edition with relatively faint praise. Could this be because I've tried 150 odd different flavours of crisp since then? I wonder.

Anyway, these turkey flavour crisps are OK. I think you can detect a slight smell of turkey - which is included in the recipe - but mostly it's all about the stuffing flavour. Onions and herbs and garlic. And that unwelcome addition of celery. Yes, I think it may be the same recipe.

As usual with Tesco crisps they are big and crunchy and covered in tasty flavour dust. And the potato variety is different from last time. I know because Tesco are careful to tell us. This time we have Lady Rosetta potatoes grown in a field called Lime Kiln 2. Last time the potato was Hermes and the field, Roundwood.

Please don't run away with the idea that we don't like these crisps. It's just that, well beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, and taste testing I suppose relies on what you've trying lately, what you really liked recently, and what you didn't. And perhaps if this really is the same recipe crisp in a different bag, maybe it shouldn't be? Maybe crisp tastes have moved on?

The Chef & I are celebrating Christmas with chicken and bread sauce. Partly because there are only two of us and turkey is a socking great big bird and we wouldn't eat even a quarter of a small one, and partly because we think roast chicken tastes better. Merry Christmas!