Tesco Sweet Maple Honey Roasted Nuts

And…. here we are again with another special snack flavour for Christmas, or as our American friends will insist on saying: the holidays. We have to shop at Tesco sometimes because our regular supermarket has strange gaps on its shelves. For example, it hasn’t stocked Cheese Footballs for years. So anyway, last time we were in Tesco, I picked up quite a lot of Cheese Footballs and Treeselets and several new, probably limited edition, crispy snacks, and this is the last.

Well, deep breath. I hardly know what to say. I love salted peanuts or cashew nuts, and honey roasted nuts and dry roasted nuts. But I really do feel Tesco’s development department have gone too far with this sweet maple honey roast. In fact they’ve only gone and jumped the shark.

What? I mean, seriously what? How come these nuts taste of bourbon biscuits? And if you don’t live in the U.K. you may not know the chocolatey sandwich that is a bourbon biscuit (named for the French royal family not the drink), so here’s a Wikipedia page. There are lots of recipes online to make at home if you can’t just run out to the shops for a packet.

The Chef, who you know will eat almost anything crispy snack related, and is a true devotee of anything nutty, thought these honey glazed nuts very strange. Even, gasp!,would you believe it, too strange to continue snacking. Cliffs of Moher Taste Tester was not at all impressed. Full disclosure: neither of them could detect the taste of bourbon biscuits but trust me, I definitely could.

I asked Cliffs of Moher to take the still almost full packet home with her for boyfriend / partner (I don’t know which she prefers), Aillwee Caves, a new recruit to taste testing. We’ll see what he has to say. Before we got married the Chef used to describe me as his partner. And I always felt it sounded as though we were running a business together, selling cushions and maybe fancy lampshades. Of course he was running around skiing and cooking dinner and I was just going to work every day. 

Anyway, Aillwee Caves Taste Tester reports that these seriously weird nuts remind him of an overly sweet breakfast cereal. I suggested Sugar Puffs, which I could totally see, but he says no, some stuff called Golden Nuggets. I don’t think I have ever come across Golden Nuggets (they taste yeee haa! apparently), but it’s obvious that Cliffs of Moher doesn’t like them any more than she liked the nuts. 

So that’s not really a success is it. What a pity. However, the actual nuts seemed just like nuts.

KP Frosted Maple Syrup Roast Peanuts & Cashews with Plain Chocolate Chunks

I guess you might suppose that this here packet of frosted nuts is a companion to the ultra fabulous KP Frosted Honey Roast Peanuts & Cashews mixed with pieces of Belgian Milk Chocolate Honeycomb nuts. And yes, it seems to be. There are Christmas trees on the packet and it all looks very similar.

But is this nut selection as fabulous? Sadly, for us at any rate, the answer is no.

Perhaps if we had tried this version first this would have been the fabulous one. But I suspect not. The maple syrup flavour doesn't seem to work as well as the honey roast, which I have always loved, and the chunks of plain chocolate simply cannot compete with the milk chocolate coated honeycomb chunks. Why no plain chocolate coated honeycomb? That could have been great.

Don't leave a packet on the supermarket shelf just because the Chef & I didn't enjoy this as much as the Frosted Honey Roast version. You might love this fancy nut selection.

KP Oven Baked Italian Herb Peanuts & Cashews

I really am not at all sure about these nuts. The Chef seems to quite like them but I'm not sure.

The packet shows the nuts all glossy and golden and brown and covered in herby goodness. The nuts in real life are a bit matte and more grey than golden brown. Which is not exactly a great look. But they do have some herbs on.

And the flavour? Er... well to be brutally honest I felt the taste was more sick than Italian herbs. Not nice. After 2 or 3 nuts they start to taste OK, a fairly tasty herbiness. But honestly I thought the initial taste was very unpleasant.

The Chef, however, didn't seem to know what I was talking about. He said they were tasty. And that was that.

I'm really not sure I want my nuts oven baked to lock in flavour. Which apparently is how they cook nuts these days. I have no clue how they used to cook nuts (presumably in a thoroughly unhealthy fashion) but whatever they did it was pretty tasty (and did not include Italian herbs), and I think I really liked it.

Why can't we all learn to eat less of the full fat version? Because the healthier oven baked or whatever is never as nice. And I feel sure that people are encouraged to eat more of the "healthy" version because it is labeled healthy even though the healthy aspect is quite limited.

Seriously, and I do mean seriously, I would far prefer to eat something full fat and bad for me - but carefully, thoughtfully eat less than I I'd really like - than eat more of a so-called healthy version which isn't anything like so nice.

In this case less really is more. And don't let anyone try to persuade you otherwise.

KP Frosted Honey Roast Peanuts & Cashews mixed with pieces of Belgian Milk Chocolate Honeycomb

As we step forward cautiously into this brave new world of ever stranger politics (forthcoming attractions: elections in The Netherlands, France and Germany), perhaps it's time to buy more nuts.

Regular readers will have noted that I haven't had a whole lot to say about nuts until just recently. There are so very many potato crisps to write about, and crispy snacks, and popcorn, that I thought nuts might be an unwelcome distraction.

However, I couldn't help observing the stealthy entry of nuts, alongside crisps and popcorn, into the weird and wonderful world of fancy flavours. Dutch taste tester tells me she welcomes this departure. Apparently interesting flavours of nuts have long been on sale in The Netherlands. I gather they are called Cocktail Nuts.

Anyway this little packet of Christmassy nuts (snowy Christmas trees on the packet - what a giveaway) almost leapt off the supermarket shelf into my shopping basket.

Oh dear. The Chef and I think this packet of nuts is rather good. We could get seriously fat. And the reluctant taste testers haven't got a hope of trying this packet because I don't think the Chef would be happy to see it leave the building. But I will buy another packet for the Christmas tea table when the relations come round.

Peanuts and Cashews, all covered and coated in sparkly honey roast yumminess and chocolate coated honeycomb! Amazing eh? Who could possibly resist? Apart from people with a peanut allergy obviously. Which is a dreadful thing. But seriously give them a try if you can find them.

Not nearly enough chunks of chocolate coated honeycomb. But that is a tiny criticism.

Oh, and shock horror.... none left in the supermarket just one day later. And no space on the shelf for them either. None at all in two other supermarkets the Chef has investigated. Did I imagine buying this fabulous product?

Update: the reluctant taste testers have now had an opportunity to try this amazing product. And found it almost universally fabulous. Senior taste tester (who has given up remarking when something is not a crisp - no! it's not - you're quite right) did suggest somewhat grumpily that the taste is a bit sweet but everyone else ignored this truth. History Graduate taste tester (back again) said it was without doubt the best selection of nuts ever. Yum!

And: luckily this product is now available in the shops again!

M&S Spirit of Summer Chipotle Chilli Coated Cashews

Well you probably noticed I don't usually write about nuts but here's a packet that made it into the office last week.

Cashew nuts coated with chipotle chilli. Not what I would normally buy for myself but certainly very tasty. Rather good in fact. This is a small packet and the nuts are in a very large bowl.

Definitely worth a try.