Tayto Meanies Pickled Onion Flavour

I can’t think why I have failed to post this tasty Irish version of Monster Munch before. It was a present from Cliffs of Moher taste tester’s mum at the end of November, and I tried the Meanies at once, so honestly I have no excuse.

As you might suppose this is the style of snack that tastes impossibly strong and sticks to your teeth so firmly that you wonder why you are torturing yourself. However, if someone offers you another bag you snatch it enthusiastically and start the torture afresh. Unless of course you don’t fancy pickled onion flavour.

Not a crispy snack for every day, and probably aimed at 8 year olds. But I confess I rather enjoyed them.

Burton's Daily Fish'n'Chips Pickled Onion

This biscuity snack in the shape of little fish and little chips was very popular with the reluctant taste testers.

Even the Architectural Consultant taste tester was moved to say how much she liked them. Well, I couldn't help noticing how many times she was suddenly wandering through the kitchen. And you should be impressed because she doesn't usually comment at all.

Not everyone picked the Pickled Onion flavour but I thought it was very accurate. Although, I think this is the taste of the larger, browner pickled onions, and not the little silver skins.

The aroma is very strongly vinegar, but the taste is gentler and the pickle onion flavour is followed by the gentle sweet taste of the biscuits themselves. Don't let that put you off. These little biscuits are rather good.

Rather fun for a change.

Mega Monster Munch Pickled Onion

I really had no idea how many crispy snacks came in Pickled Onion flavour until now. And here we have another, although Mega Monster Munch also comes in Flamin' Hot and Roast Beef. Well, I daresay I will give them a try if I see them but in the meantime we have pickled onion.

Not sure about the flavour. It tastes completely fake. Pretty fake smell too but I can't quite work out exactly what they smell of. This baked corn snack is a bit like a giant cocktail ring in shape but I suppose it's meant to be the shape of a monster's foot. Maybe?

Good crunch. Not a bad texture although a little dry. And then there's quite a sharp vinegary after taste, really strong. It made me cough.

Once again I imagine these crispy snacks are aimed at 8 year olds. In which case the packaging is ideal.  I must say it is rather fun. I especially like the top left corner where the word NEW is crossed out and replaced with OLD! Bigger like they used to be. And that would be in 1977. So I guess that bit is aimed at feckless adults still eating Mega Monster Munch instead of fancy Sea Salt and Ground Black Pepper or what have you.

And I love the great monster image with its mouth full of Mega Monster Munch. Brilliant. It's a shame I don't like this crispy snack more than I do.

Mega Monster Munch are made by Walkers, and in the great Walkers tradition the image showing how you should throw away the packaging has been, er, monsterised to show a monster throwing his rubbish away. Only a tiny image but it's really fun if you notice that sort of thing.

Not my most favourite crispy snack ever but I'm glad I tried them. Great packaging though.

M&S Poisonous Scorpions Pickled Onion

Here we have a delightful Halloween offering from the crisp development team at Marks & Spencer.

And what a top job they've done on this reconstituted maize snack aimed squarely at the pre-teen market. Scorpion shapes! Of course you'd associate scorpions with Halloween. Or would you? I'm pretty sure I don't but I suppose I would find it very scary if a scorpion suddenly appeared in my kitchen.

They have the scorpions just right. Lovely big claws, good strong tail shape, generally extremely scorpiony. I was very impressed how few in the packet were broken. And a ghostly shade of pale green (chlorophyll) to set them off - you get more green by artificial light for some reason but sadly they don't glow in the dark (think of the potential E numbers though). Lovely!

Unfortunately the pickled onion flavour is not so good. The initial smell is pickled onion but it's more of a vinegar flavour than anything else and a little harsh. If you want a proper pickled onion snack try Space Raiders Pickled Onion. Now they were good. Or of course you could try actual pickled onions.

The texture too is not  the best. I found these quite dry, and almost papery. And chewy rather than crunchy.

So not the best pickled onion flavoured corn snack in the world but having said that I ate quite a lot of these. I'd have finished the packet all on my own but I thought perhaps I'd better not.

Top marks for the shape.

Suitable for vegetarians and (weirdly) made in Denmark.
Impressively lurid packaging eh?

Space Raiders Pickled Onion

Another crispy selection from the local newsagent run by the amazingly cheerful man.

After careful scrutiny of the back of the packet I find the Space Raiders trademark is registered to United Biscuits who make Jaffa Cakes and Twiglets. This information is in very tiny writing, and the Space Raiders brand doesn't seem to feature on the United Biscuits website. According to Wikipedia, Space Raiders are made by KP but that brand doesn't feature on the United Biscuits website either. Oh, wait, apparently KP was sold to German brand Intersnack in December 2012. It's all terrifically complicated.

Space Raiders have a very strong flavour. I love silverskin pickled onions, although not so keen on the larger pickled onions, so I was dubious about how these would taste. But it's a pretty good approximation of the genuine pickled onion taste and just as strong. Perhaps it's not such a bad thing you only get 22g in the bag: any more and all the skin would get burnt off the inside of your mouth.

So here we have a pickled onion flavour, reconstituted maize, alien-face-shaped crunchy snack. With a great big green alien face on the packet. Could this possibly be yet another savoury snack aimed at children? They do have their own Facebook page... and only 20p....

Not a snack to go with a gin and tonic or a glass of sherry. Maybe a Swiss wine would work? I always drink Fendant or Johannisberg with an Assiette Valaisanne; a plate of cold meats (jambon cru, viande séchée, saucisse sèche and lard), and local cheeses with pickled gherkins and onions. It seems a pretty good combination.

Anyway, despite the luminous green alien on the packet, these "cosmic" corn snacks are rather good. They have pretty much the same bubbly texture as most quaver-style corn snacks, perhaps a little thicker than some but with a good soft bite. There's plenty of flavour dust and the flavour goes all the way through. I'm impressed. Yes, snack fans, I rather liked these bonkers crispy things.

Don't forget the most important thing of all.... these crunchy oniony snacks come in the shape of an alien's face. Wow. I gather that in the bad old days when all of us in Europe were allowed as many E numbers as we liked, the pickled onion flavour snacks were bright green. What a shame I missed that! Ordinary "crunchy corn snack" colour just isn't the same.

Yes I know they are frightfully bad for me. But they are suitable for vegetarians, and baked not fried, and the packet does tell me I should keep active for a healthy lifestyle. Probably the embarrassment of being spotted buying a bag with a luminous green alien on will help with the healthy lifestyle because I likely won't be doing that again. Lying in bed on a Sunday morning taste-testing Space Raiders, however, will not.

Private thought: I wonder if my brother will read this? He doesn't seem to believe blogs exist. Let's find out.